Crypto’s latest meme cult is a resounding example of how useless tokens are

Oh, dear reader, just when you thought the digital dreams of the cryptocurrency world couldn’t be more divorced from economic reality, along comes a token that is so bold and so aware of how pointless it is that it almost makes you admire it. The cryptocurrency news today brings us the tale of “USELESS,” a meme coin that, by its own proud admission, serves no purpose whatsoever. And yet, in the bizarre, topsy-turvy logic that governs this particular corner of the financial casino, it has recently boasted a market capitalization touching $100 million. One is tempted to simply throw one’s hands up and declare the entire enterprise a performance art piece, albeit one with real money and real potential for loss at stake.

So, let’s get this straight. In a market already saturated with digital trinkets promising to revolutionize finance, decentralize the internet, or at least make you rich beyond the dreams of Croesus (promises, by the way, that usually evaporate faster than morning mist), a new contender has emerged. Its unique selling proposition? It’s “literally useless.” This isn’t a criticism leveled by skeptics; it’s the coin’s actual marketing slogan. Launched on the Solana blockchain via a platform called LetsBONK.fun, USELESS coin has no utility, no roadmap, no grand vision. It simply is. And for this profound statement of digital being, it has been rewarded with a 2,000% price surge in a fortnight, thousands of holders and peak daily trading volumes in the tens of millions.

We are told this is a “cult following built entirely on irony.” The argument, if one can call it that, from its proponents – or should we say, its congregation? – is that USELESS is, in fact, the most honest meme coin. Why? Because, according to one of its major backers, a character known as “Unipcs” (who apparently once turned $16,000 into $20 million betting on other crypto ephemera, which tells you something about the skill-versus-luck ratio in this game), “Every memecoin is technically useless… yet here we are, with one actually called USELESS leading the pack.”

There’s a certain meta-textual, postmodern charm to this, if you’re into that sort of thing. It’s as if the cryptocurrency space, having failed to produce many genuinely useful applications despite years of hype and billions in investment, has decided to lean into the absurdity. If the critics say all crypto is useless, then why not create a token that embraces the label with defiant pride? It’s a kind of financial nihilism, a collective shrug that says, “None of this makes sense, so let’s just have fun with the nonsense.”

Unlike Dogecoin with its charming Shiba Inu, or PEPE with its amphibian mascot, USELESS apparently features a “community-built golden coin logo with a chiseled ‘U’.” The symbolism is direct. The project’s official Twitter (or X, if we must) account even proclaims, “The most honest project is the one that admits it’s Useless.” One wonders if this newfound honesty extends to transparently warning potential buyers that they are in all likelihood, participating in a sophisticated game of hot potato, where the last one holding the bag gets burned.

The aforementioned Unipcs, who reportedly dropped $382,000 on these tokens, which then ballooned to over $2.3 million at its peak (and he claims he hasn’t sold a cent, a classic HODLer mantra), argues that USELESS is “incredibly undervalued” because “all it takes is anchoring it to the valuation of these other ‘useless’ memecoins.” This is the logic of relative valuation untethered from any fundamental anchor. It’s like saying a pet rock is undervalued because it’s cheaper than a different, slightly more famous pet rock. The entire edifice is built on the hope that someone else, a “greater fool,” will come along and pay even more for this digital assertion of nothingness. This isn’t investment; it’s a bet on collective psychology, a momentum trade powered by memes and the fear of missing out.

To “normies,” as the crypto crowd affectionately calls those of us still tethered to old-fashioned concepts like intrinsic value or productive assets, USELESS coin undoubtedly looks like yet another compelling reason to view the entire cryptocurrency exchange ecosystem with profound suspicion. It reinforces the narrative that much of this space is less about financial innovation and more about unregulated gambling. But to the “memecoin maxis,” it’s hailed as “the most honest thing onchain.” The honesty, presumably, lies in its explicit acknowledgment of its own lack of utility, a stark contrast to tokens that weave elaborate narratives about future use cases that never quite materialize.

The article notes that “The higher it climbs, the more absurd it becomes, the more attention it draws, and the stronger the flywheel effect that pushes it even higher.” This is a textbook description of a speculative bubble. There’s no talk of discounted cash flows, no analysis of potential earnings, no consideration of how this token might solve a real-world problem or create tangible economic value. Its value is purely a function of attention and belief – a digital Tinkerbell that exists only because its followers clap loud enough.

One might ask where the crypto regulators are in all this. Well, regulating something that proudly proclaims its own uselessness presents a certain philosophical challenge, doesn’t it? If there’s no promise of utility, no pretense of being an investment contract in the traditional sense (though securities lawyers might beg to differ based on how it’s marketed and traded), then what exactly is there to regulate, beyond warning people that they are, effectively, setting their money on fire for entertainment? This isn’t to say it shouldn’t be subject to scrutiny, especially regarding market manipulation or the protection of unsophisticated participants, but its very premise is designed to sidestep traditional frameworks. Even the more “serious” parts of the crypto world, like stabletokens that try to maintain a peg to real-world currencies, face immense regulatory headwinds. A meme coin called USELESS? It almost dares regulators to try and make sense of it.

In a flat market, the article concludes, where “most tokens promise the moon and deliver a tweet, USELESS has found its niche: no promises, no pretenses — just a meme that’s worth millions.” Perhaps this is the ultimate commentary on the state of crypto speculation: a collective, ironic embrace of meaninglessness as the purest form of digital “value.” It’s a fascinating, if somewhat terrifying, sociological phenomenon. But let’s not mistake it for sound economics or a sustainable financial future. It’s a game, and like all such games, eventually, the music stops. And when it does, there won’t be any “utility” to cushion the fall. There will just be… uselessness.